Nobody likes being judged negatively by others, but often the fact is that our worst judge of all is ourselves. This post will share some different ways of how to stop judging yourself and how to stop judging others.
Negative judgement of ourselves can be incredibly damaging, and lead to low (or lower) self-esteem, depression and anxiety. Often it becomes a hard-wired habit in our brains to think like this, so breaking that habit is not always an easy task. Fortunately, there are many avenues to take to stop judging yourself negatively and get back to leading a full and happy life.
How To Stop Judging Yourself Using Psychotherapy
Talk therapy is a great starting point. Having a medical professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss things with is extremely useful.
One of the best methods I know of is cognitive behavior therapy, or CBT as it is more commonly known. CBT directly addresses negative beliefs and thinking and challenges you to come up with a more healthy way of thinking. As the negative and judgemental thinking is probably something you have been doing for a while, it will take plenty of practice using CBT. The more you use it the easier it becomes, and also the more you use it the more that healthier way of thinking becomes entrenched in your brain and takes over from the negative way of thinking. CBT has been used very successfully by therapists worldwide, and is a proven technique for improving mental health.
The best resource that I know of for CBT is a product called Destroy Depression. There are a lot of different elements to this product, but a large part of it is how to use CBT to challenge your negative thinking and turn your depression around. Even if you don’t currently suffer from depression, it is a very useful course just for learning about CBT and following the steps in the course to apply CBT to your current situation.
Another great therapy is acceptance commitment therapy, or ACT as it is known. ACT is a mindfulness based way of thinking and if applied correctly, will allow all of those negative thoughts and judgements to simply pass by. A big part of ACT is not judging anything as negative or positive, but just accepting that it is there without judgement. I have successfully used both CBT and ACT together to help with my negative thoughts, self-judgement, depression and anxiety.
The best resource that I know of for learning about ACT is a book by Dr. Russ Harris called The Happiness Trap. Dr. Harris is one of the worlds leading experts on acceptance commitment therapy. The book is very well written and easy to follow, which is a refreshing change from a lot of other similar books where the information is presented in a bland and boring way. I highly recommend reading The Happiness Trap as well as the other books Dr. Harris has written on ACT.
Using Mindfulness To Stop Judging Yourself
Mindfulness involves being in the present. Not just with the things that are happening around us, but also with our thoughts. If we are more aware of our thoughts as they are happening then we are in a far better position to challenge those thoughts and replace them with better ways of thinking.
Practicing mindful meditation at least once daily will help you to learn how to be present with your thoughts and feelings. Practicing is not hard, you just need to set aside a small amount of time to dedicate to it. There are plenty of videos on YouTube that will guide you through a meditation session, so do a search and find one that you like.
The other benefit of mindfulness is that it is great for your mental health overall. We don’t need to be depressed to work on our mental health, and I’m sure you will have noticed a lot of people from all different sorts of health situations are now practicing mindful meditation to improve their mental health and wellbeing.
Additional Tips To Stop Judging Yourself And Others
Challenge your thoughts – Don’t just accept that every thought you have is fact. Often these thoughts are based purely on emotions or fear rather than actual fact. If you find you are calling yourself stupid or putting yourself down in any way, stop and challenge that thought. Now replace it with a positive thought and find any number of reasons to confirm that you are not stupid.
Compliment often – Being complimentary is a great habit to get into. With a negative mindset or with depression we often seek out the negative until we find something to confirm it. Instead of doing that, look for ways to compliment someone or yourself. The more you give out compliments, the more you are training your mind to seek out the positive in people and situations.
Gratitude – If you are complimenting others more often then there is a high chance that they will be complimenting you as well. Sometimes it can be natural to dismiss any positive feedback you receive and reply with something negative about yourself.
Stop doing that!
Instead, be accepting of all positive comments that people make towards you and thank them for their kind words. People don’t go out of their way and make the effort to say something positive to someone unless they really believe it, so accept that this person believes this positive thing about you. This will really help with your self-esteem and have you feeling a lot better about yourself if you are not constantly dismissing or rejecting the nice things that others say about you.
Stop generalizing – we all have failures at certain points in our lives, but that does not mean we are a failure as a whole. If you have felt incompetent in a situation then accept that you may not have done well in that situation, but that one situation alone does not determine what sort of person you are.
You can also learn from that situation, so instead of judging yourself negatively on it you can focus on what you did well, what you learned, and what you would like to improve on the next time it happens.
Treat yourself like your best friend – Chances are that if you took all of the things you say about yourself and directed those negative comments at your best friend, then you would no longer have a best friend. We are often much kinder to others than we are to ourselves, so try to focus on giving yourself the same positivity, compliments and acceptance that you would give to your best friend. This positive reinforcement will directly help to challenge your hard-wired negative thinking and teach you to seek out the positives in yourself, others and all different situations.
The main theme of this article is to learn to love yourself. You are the only one you spend your entire life with, so you are going to find it far easier if you can just love yourself a little.
Make a habit of challenging your negative thoughts and beliefs and also make a habit of seeking out the positive in any situation. Hold a mirror up to yourself and don’t just think that something is a fact purely because you had that thought. You need to challenge that thinking frequently.
If you need help with this and want to learn an incredibly effective way of challenging negative thoughts, then I encourage you to purchase Destroy Depression. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee so there is nothing to lose except your negative way of thinking!
Please note – the product links on this page are affiliate links, meaning I receive a commission if you make a purchase through that link. It doesn’t cost you anything extra and helps me to keep the website running.