It is only natural to want to arrive on time. For some people, myself included, the fear of being late weighs more heavily. As the scheduled time approaches, the anxiety increases. We worry about being late and what that means about who we are as a person and how much we are letting people down or disappointing them if we don’t arrive on time. There is even a name for this, and it is called allegrophobia, which is simply the fear of being late.
What Happens To Me With Allegrophobia
It starts with me checking, double checking and triple checking the time I am meant to arrive. I have no confidence in myself that I have remembered the time correctly, and therefore feel the need to continuously check and re-check it as I don’t trust that I have remembered it correctly. This in itself causes my anxiety to rise.
I also take the time to logically work out when I should leave. If I need to arrive somewhere at 3 o’clock and it will take me 20 minutes to get there, then I will plan to leave at 2:30, giving myself an extra 10 minutes in case something unexpected causes a delay.
As I approach the time that I have planned to leave, my thoughts turn towards everything that can go wrong. What if I have a car accident? What if there is unexpected traffic or road works? What if there is some other delay? I then start to worry about being late and all of the things outside of my control that could possibly cause me to be late. And as I worry about all of these things, my anxiety just keeps increasing.
As I get closer and closer to the time I plan to leave, my anxiety keeps increasing also. Eventually it gets to a point where the anxiety has overwhelmed me and I am on the verge of a full blown panic attack.
So, what do I do to alleviate the anxiety? Quite simply, I leave earlier than I had planned to. A lot earlier. Although this is not the only way to avoid a panic attack or reduce anxiety (more on that later), it is one thing that I can do immediately that will give me some relief from my rising anxiety.
This strategy has meant that I have spent many hours sitting in the car at my destination waiting for the time to pass because I have arrived so early. In 6 years of picking up my kids from school, the latest I have ever arrived has been half an hour early. If I am at my destination and nothing can possibly delay me from that point then I am comfortable and the anxiety is under control. I would rather spending some boring time in the car waiting at my destination than spend the time feeling very anxious and worrying about everything.
I know this is not the greatest or healthiest strategy, but there is no doubt that it is effective for me. My fear is about being late, and using this strategy I am never late, so although I am using avoidance strategies to do it, in a way I am directly addressing that fear.
What Causes The Fear Of Being Late?
There is definitely a people pleasing aspect behind the fear of being late. This can sometimes be driven by a low self esteem and a fear of the way people will perceive you if you are late. Nobody wants to be viewed negatively, but for some people they will go to great lengths to avoid being seen that way.
There is also the fear that you are letting people down by being late or it is disrespectful to not show up on time. Again this can be attributed to having low self esteem or basing your sense of self worth on how others perceive you.
Sometimes the fear of being late is used as a distraction if you feel anxious about the event that you are going to attend. Replacing those uneasy feelings about how you will handle the event with different uneasy feelings about being late to the event can serve as a way to avoid the fear of how you will manage yourself at the event.
How To Manage The Fear Of Being Late
As previously mentioned, one way of managing the fear of being late is to leave so early that you almost eliminate the chance of being late. This can lead to a lot of time spent waiting at your destination. It also means you are not doing anything to directly address your fears and your way of thinking about those fears, so you will face the same problem every time you need to be somewhere by a certain time. This is the strategy that I used myself for years, and although I knew I wasn’t addressing the real problem which was my way of thinking, I was at least getting some relief from the anxiety I was feeling. Eventually I did find a better way, and these days I have mostly overcome my fear of being late and I don’t arrive as early as I used to in order to avoid that anxious feeling.
At the heart of anxiety and phobias is fear. Fear drives it all. The best way to overcome any phobia is not through avoidance, but by directly addressing that fear. Fortunately, there is help available.
I bought a course called Panic Away that is designed to help you to eliminate panic attacks and reduce anxiety. It also works wonders on phobias, because it gets to the heart of the problem and that problem is simply fear. This course helped me to change the way I think and to directly address the fear that was behind my anxiety, and once I did that the results came quickly. Very quickly in fact. Just reading through the course once was enough for me to finally confront and defeat my fears, with the result being that I could quite easily manage any anxiety or panic attacks that came my way.
I’ve spent many years trying all different sorts of strategies with varying degrees of success. On this website, I only promote products that have given me success, which is why there are only two main products that I promote. One of those products is Panic Away and I am very comfortable recommending it to anyone who suffers from anxiety, panic attacks or phobias. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee, and there is no reason why it can’t work for you as well as it has worked for me. You can read more about it by using the link below.
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